So, it's been a while...
Yeah, I know I haven't written anything in a while. But I have a valid reason, I promise!
I stopped writing.
It wasn’t an intentional decision, but once I did stop I couldn’t find a single sentence worthy of sharing. See, I naturally battle being a beginner. And when I think it’s taking too long to stop sucking at anything new I do, I tend to lose steam. Yeah, I’m human, shocking right?
Writing is something I hustle to be worthy of being recognized for. I have this idea that if I can’t produce anything Pulitzer-worthy then I shouldn’t waste anyone’s time. In the years that I’ve held this strange desire to share my thoughts with others by writing missives to strangers about my existence, I’ve also struggled with feeling worthy of the gift of your attention.
Until literally a few hours ago after a life-changing nap. Okay, it’s not quite that simple, the reason I finally gave myself permission to do something I’ve loved all my life.
There’s honestly no other reason that I stopped trying so hard to impress you other than that I gave myself permission sometime in the past few months to enjoy the things I love doing. Regardless of whether I think I’m good at the things I love or not. Or of what you think too. Because I respect the choice you have to click on this digital missive and read my words. And I know that each time you do or don’t, it’s a personal choice on how to use your time. But I’m excited to arrive at this point because I’ve worked towards it for years (not even a hyperbole, that).
So basically, the contents of this newsletter will look different from now on. I write to share a piece of my existence. Not to score a TedTalk as the loudest voice on the internet. I share to inspire reciprocation and start a conversation. And to find other humans on this rock who share a similar experience so I know I’m not some crazy bundle of nerves hallucinating a reality.
I will be writing about my life, experiences in it, how I navigate existing, and the strange thoughts that fire unused synapses from time to time. I can’t promise it will be thematic, Pulitzer-worthy, earth-shattering stuff. I do offer honesty, vulnerability, and maybe some dry humor.
So, if you’re subscribed for my initial promise of newsletters about freelancing, gig-work, etc., I will respect your decision to unsubscribe. If you’re curious about receiving digital missives from a learning-obsessed researcher about her life experiences with work, friendship, spirituality, and emotional health, say hi below, and let me know you’re here to keep me company.
Adieu, for now!